Monthly Archives: July 2007

The Involved Dad:A Societal Paradox – By Director Dana Glazer

Yesterday we went out and filmed some on-the-street interviews around town, asking people how they see the role of fathers. Initially, the responses weren’t terribly revealing as most everyone we spoke with agreed that involved fatherhood is a good thing. I don’t think anyone in this day and age can disagree with that – at least not the people I’ve come across so far. It seems to be a cultural belief that being an involved dad is important. Heck, even MacDonalds has a commercial promoting the idea. Nothing wrong with that!

In the interviews we asked people what they saw the priority was in terms of the most important role of a dad – and they almost unanimously chose involved with kids over financial support.

But now here’s the contradiction: when the same people were the asked their attitudes about Stay-At-Home Dads the majority of them viewed this extreme version of the involved dad as unacceptable behavior on a man’s part.

“A Stay-At-Home Dad is a man too lazy to work for a living,” one woman said after speaking so glowingly about how important an involved dad is.

And herein lies the cultural paradox: we live in a society that espouses the virtue of an involved dad, however, when it comes down to it, the real value our society places on dads is still firmly anchored to the fifties notion of the breadwinner dad.

Now, of course this is all somewhat extreme. Certainly there has been a shift for dads to be more involved with the care of their kids. And certainly there were people we interviewed who were very accepting of Stay-At-Home Dads. It’s not like things haven’t changed – but they have changed a lot less than we’d like to think.

The paradoxical cultural message we are brought up with is very confusing. There is a bit of confusion at this point especially to what it really means to be an involved dad – and the next time we film on-the-street interviews, my goal is to dig deeper into this.

My wife had an interesting insight into this which I think is worth including. From her perspective where dads are currently is parallel to where moms were in the 80’s, trying to navigate between having careers and the home front. The notion of ‘quality time’ was a fairly constant phrase back then, which emphasized that it wasn’t the amount of time one spent with one’s children but the quality. Certainly, there’s nothing wrong with that idea but my wife saw this socially ingrained phrase (and I’d agree) as a way of justifying more time away from home.

There’s a lot of confusion, pressure and guilt around how much time should be spent at work vs at home and the answers are neither simple nor easy – for dads and moms alike. What I do hope to explore in this film are creative solutions that different families and companies have undertaken in terms of flex time, staggered schedules, etc, with the hope that it will open up minds as to how to improve our society or at least creatively navigate a better family/work balance.

Dad the Nurturer – From Deborah, Wife/Huntress to the Director

I never think of myself as the “breadwinner” in the family, although I most definitely consider my husband to be the primary childcare- giver. He is up every morning at 7:00 AM (I’m a crank in the morning), giving bottles, reading stories, changing diapers, fixing breakfast, doing “potty duty”, with little complaint and often quiteContinue Reading

Family/Film Balance – from Director Dana Glazer

The weather was perfect, the crew assembled, the stars seemingly in alignment for filming on-the-street interviews today. But then…the fateful call from our sitter. She had food poisoning and wasn’t going to be able to make it. Given my wife’s strained back there was no other option but to postpone filming. Such is the natureContinue Reading

Visiting "Fatherneed" – From Director Dana Glazer

I’ve been reading Dr. Kyle Pruett’s “Fatherneed” this weekend and what an incredible book. It really covers the gamut of fatherhood experience in ways that only a book can. Honestly, I’ve felt a bit humbled as Dr. Pruett has made such strives in articulating the benefits of involved fatherhood in this book – and thenContinue Reading

I Cringed Too – From Marketing Associate Jonathan Trenn

When I saw the pillow get tossed at the little boy, I cringed too. Couldn’t help it. Toss was a bit too fast for my liking and the pillow didn’t seem all that soft. Then the little boy chuckled. He loved it. Because he knew the toss was a sign of love from his dad.Continue Reading

MORE PILLOW TALK – From Associate Producer Tracy Russell

Ah, yes the infamous pillow shot. I must confess that I too am in the “moms who cringed when the dad throws the pillow at his kid,” group. And, I too have been thinking about that basic truth: that men and women are different, so it follows that; of course, fathers and mothers will parentContinue Reading

People Who Live In Glass Houses Should Throw Pillows – From Director Dana Glazer

My mother called me the other day to share that she had watched the “Stay-At-Home Dad – Redefined” segment, which I recently posted. “I loved it, Dana, but there was one part which really made me cringe.”“What was that, mom?”“Where the dad throws the pillow at his kid. I cringed.“Mom, it was a pillow.”“I know,Continue Reading

Redefining the Stay-At-Home Dad – From Director Dana Glazer

I have so many hopes for how the finished film can potentially help the American dad as well as the family unit overall. There really is the possibility of changing people’s perspectives on how we see fatherhood and creating an impact not only on father/son/daughter relationships but to possibly influence corporate and governmental policies regardingContinue Reading

From EvoDad Subject Dallas Hayes…

I asked Dallas Hayes to contribute to our blog and here’s what he wrote. Enjoy! – Dana Good Enough Dad: I’d like to thank Dana Glazer for his kind words, calling me an ‘amazing father’, however I want to point out that that is not how I see myself. I worry that as a subjectContinue Reading