There’s been a lot of noise in the media about the so-called “Mommy Wars” which now things seem to be sequeing to “Daddy Wars” – and honestly, the whole thing pretty much makes me nauseous. The deeper I get in the research of this film, the clearer it becomes that most of what we are experiencing in the media regarding motherhood and fatherhood is trumped up BS created primarily to cloud what’s really going on out there.
It’s easy to seemingly pit at-home moms and dads against their go-to-work counterparts but the honest truth is that most parents are doing the best they can for their kids regardless of what ‘type’ of parent they are. No one is better than anyone else, although articles like the one in Men’s Vogue and the accompanying critique in the NYTimes would make you think otherwise. To glorify or shun any of the social choices parents have to make in our backward-thinking cash culture is just adding to the problem.
If a media article, segment, essay, whatever, does not include a discussion of gender equity, real work/family balance, then it’s skirting the deeper issues at hand.
Here’s what Brian Reid, aka Rebel Dad, had to say about this, which I think sums up a lot of what’s going on here, at least in respect to dads:
“I think the next great battle over parenthood will be between fathers who want to be able to take advantage of the great flexible workplace of the 21st century and the old-line bosses who fail to see the light. It will not be between at-home dad and go-to-work dads. I’m not pleased that LeDuff has decided to spend so much time rhapsodizing about having to “decide if the child is more important than the stature, the action, the money” and setting up a ridiculous, non-existent conflict.”
Thank you, Brian, for continuing to shed a balanced light on what’s going on with our culture. The evolution may be a slow one but it is inevitable.