The Love That Binds

Hey out there. The holidays are over. The New Year has begun and the Evolution of Dad marches onward. There’s really so much to do.

I had the greatest luck while in Boston to go to a Celtics game and not only watch the team trounce its rival but also that I happened to be sitting next to a very lovely family of four, the Mosley’s, in which the father was a SAHD circa 1990. One doesn’t come across too many families from that far back who fit this. What makes this particularly helpful for the film is that their son and daughter are both old enough to really talk about their experience. Ally is 22 and George is 19 and plays football at Georgetown. What immediately came across was the love that binds this family. I don’t know what was more fun, continually switching seats so to get to talk to each of them throughout the game or the game itself.

Several days after Christmas I snuck away from my own family and interviewed the Mosley’s on film. The experience was incredibly moving for me and for them. There was something truly deep going on and it was a privilege for me to record it. After filming concluded they graciously gave me some old home movies shot on VHS tapes. Today, I watched them and watching Ally and George when they were little kids added an even greater appreciation for their journeys. Their dad, Wayne, who looks remarkably the same as he did Seventeen years ago, is such a gentle but powerful force in the family. He and his wife, Robin, are still as much in love as from what I watched from 1985.

With so much misery out there, it’s always reassuring to meet a family like the Mosley’s or the Vachons or the Knussmans (see prior posts.) These are families that aren’t stuck in old ideas of how families should be defined. Each in their own way have found unique ways to balance their families. It may not be the high drama that sells on TV but there is something spiritually cleansing and affirming about being in their midsts.

On a personal note, I keep reflecting about why, psychologically, I was drawn to making this film in the first place. There are many reasons, I suppose: to create something meaningful. To inspire dads to get more involved with their kids. To connect with more people. To feel validated as a father. However, I think the biggest reason is to find balance – something which seems to elude me more than I wish it did. Somehow, someway, my greatest hope is that buried in the hours of all this footage, balance may be found.

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